Be 100% present. Set aside the usual distractions of things undone
from yesterday, things to do tomorrow. Bring all of yourself to the
work. Practice hospitality. We all learn most effectively in spaces that
welcome us. Welcome others to this place and this work, and presume
that you are welcomed.
2. Listen deeply to learn
Listen intently to what is said; listen to the feelings beneath the
words. Listen to yourself also. Strive to achieve a balance between
listening and reflecting, speaking and acting. You will be invited to
share in pairs, small groups, and in the large group. The invitation is
exactly that. You will determine the extent to which you want to
participate in our discussions and activities.
3. No fixing
Each of us is here to discover our own truths, to listen to our own
inner teacher, to take our own inner journey. We are not here to help
right another’s wrong, to “fix” or “correct” what we perceive as broken
or incorrect in another member of the group.
4. Suspend judgment and assumptions and seek understanding
Set aside your judgments. By creating a space between judgments and
reactions, we can listen to the other, and to ourselves, more fully, and
thus our perspectives, decisions, and actions are more informed. Our
assumptions are usually invisible to us, yet they under-gird our
worldview and thus our decisions and our actions. By identifying our
assumptions, we can then set them aside and open our viewpoints to
greater possibilities.
5. Speak your truth and respect the truth of others
Say what is in your heart, trusting that your voice will be heard and
your contribution respected. Your truth may be different from, even the
opposite of, what another in the circle has said. Speaking your truth
is not debating with, or correcting, or interpreting what another has
said. Own your truth by speaking for yourself, using “I” statements.
6. Maintain confidentiality
Create a safe space by respecting the confidential nature and content
of discussions held in the circle. What is said in the circle stays
here; what is learned in the circle leaves here. Everyone gets to tell
their own story for themselves.
7. Respect silence
Silence is a rare gift in our busy world. After you or someone else
has spoken, take time to reflect, without immediately filling the space
with words. Look inward and listen to yourself in the silence.
8. When things get difficult, turn to wonder
If you find yourself disagreeing with another, becoming judgmental,
shutting down in defense, try turning to wonder: “I wonder what brought
her to this place?” “I wonder what my reaction teaches me?” “I wonder
what he’s feeling right now?”
9. Trust the circle
In the circle, all voices are valued equally. All gifts are welcomed
and respected. Within each circle is the genesis of renewal and
community well-being. The circle can be the instrument for creating a
new community narrative for the sake of our children and grandchildren.
This featured practice appeared in the June 2016 issue of Mindful magazine. Subscribe to read the full feature article, “Telling Stories, Breaking Barriers.”
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